Goodbye 2009!

So long 2009. I will forever remember it as the most painful year of my life thus far. I am hopeful that this next year will be good or maybe even great.

My holidays were a bit rough. Being alone seems much more depressing around Christmas time. My children spent most of their vacation with their father. The house was unbelievably quiet. I spent time with my ex-husband and the kids during the holidays. As a result of that, I have a new found understanding of why he is the wrong guy for me. Talking to him is like talking to an empty room. I have felt bad about myself for so long because I wasn't good enough for him to be faithful too. Now, I realize that he isn't good enough for me. I am a good, caring woman. Someone will see the best in me and value what I have to offer. I don't come in a little cute package, but the right guy won't care.

As the next decade dawns, I look forward to making my dreams come true. Had to adjust my plans a bit, but that is okay. Learning to be flexible was essential in being a navy wife. I still want to have more children, God willing. I would love to find someone to marry and grow old with. But you cant hit a home run unless you get up to bat. Learning the art of dating is going to be a challenge. I have a lot of catching up to do. I'll keep you posted.

Ready

These last weeks have been hard for me due to stress. To say that being a single mom is hard, would be an understatement. I have been trying to achieve a career goal that was somewhat derailed by the divorce. I needed some a sign that things would get better.

My mom gave me a book that was given to her buy my aunt. I am not an avid reader, but I took the book and promised her I would read it. I glanced at the back cover. I was hooked then. It was about a woman who moves back home after she finds out her husband cheats on her the day she is undergoing fertility treatments to concieve a child. She finds out the she is pregnant with twins the night she is rescued by her high school crush. The name of the book is Just Breathe. I spent the whole weekend reading it.

I know a romance novel is not exactly the best place to find inspiration, but you take it where you can get it. A theme of the book is love comes in its own time. I believe that I will find love again. I want to marry a wonderful man and God willing, have more children. I am ready to find love again. I am ready to start dating. Now where is he? lol

Left Behind

What I have been dreading has happened. My x-husband has found somebody else. The thought of him falling in love again hurts more than I would like to admit. I wanted to be the first to find love. It is hard to be the one left behind.

The begining

In the last few years my life has changed dramatically. I went from a wife and mother of ten years to a divorced single mom. When you say those vows, you never think you will become a statistic. I devoted myself completely to my husband and our life together. What I didn't count on, was his lack of devotion to me. After two beautiful kids and ten years of marriage, he filed for divorce. My divorce was ugly and very painful. Over six months later I am still putting the pieces of my life back together. I am trying to be the best mother I can be. I am going to start my new career as a nurse soon. I have faith that God has a plan for me. Moving on after what I have been through will not be easy. I would like to share my journey with you.